"strive for perfection knowing that perfection does not exist"- A.R.

Who's to say where the wind will take you?

...I'm not afraid to die, I'm more afraid to live...and when I'm flat on my back...I hope to feel like I did...Who's to know when the time has come around?...Who's to say where the wind will take you?

Afraid to live rather than to die... maybe because there's nothing like going to hell and coming back...or just maybe because touring up in heaven once and then pulled right down...

But what does it take for one to go back... to that moment of ecstasy of pleasure in life... like when young: it seemed so fine... one would run around and life would be calm, yet so it cannot be compared to real pleasure of one self.

so what does it take... to go back to that day?

tic toc tic toc

Go on... go on don't run but walk

go slow... go slow best way's not to rush

don't look for it 'cause alone it comes

carrying along the sorrow of one's voice

the brightness in one's eyes

and the memory of that spark

so: go slow go slow and do not rush

take your time...

Because sooner than later we'll see

that this is meant to be

...like we knew: Right from the start.

DOUBT TRUTH TO BE A LIAR...

Doubt stars are fire, doubt the sun doth move, doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt i love- William Shakespeare

Great quote... amazing quote, actually one of my favorites... weird since im not this way but just cannot stop thinking about it. Since the day i first read it to today but seems like each day my thought and feelings towards this quote grow. They grow the same way my feeling towards the ideas expressed there grow...."doubt the stars are fire doubt the sun doth move" the idea of questioning the obvious the important and the so thought to be unquestionable. "doubt truth to be a liar"... remember all the times and promises the ideas... and of course the broken ones. Breaking a promise is fine if its for the right reason... but submitting oneself to such a responsibility and commitment as a promise is and then breaking it for no reasonable justification is unbearable... better off not making he promise at all. probably is the necessity of people for contention and a promises provides so but when broken the pleasant feeling once achieved leaps on to the ground.

Finally "but never doubt i love" the concluding part of the quote but also to my thoughts: never doubt when u care, respect, consider, miss etc... never doubt the feelings to be there... no matter good or bad always acknowledge at least to yourself that you have feelings and should not be lost and never ever forget these should never be forgot.

just praying to a god i don't believe in....

What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok....Coz when a heart breaks
no it don't break even.

Everything just seems the same to me now a days... maybe because i just stopped caring...maybe because i cared to much and it didn't work.... anyhow... not caring not the solution and deep inside i know i care.... maybe way to much... what about those people that can just sit down and relax not thinking of problems and letting life be itself.... doesn't that mean that life is passing them by.... ??? But surprises me is how people like that tend to live happy free from preoccupations... maybe they have no goals, they have no sense of success and achieving for progress... but they are happy... or appear to be... meanwhile i am caring for everything trying to progress for what ... TO BE HAPPY????... always curious how they were happy that way... just doesn't seem something possible for me i guess...

Straight to the valley of the great divide...

Out where the dreams all hide Out where the wind don't blow Out here the good girls die And the sky won't snow Out here the bird don't sing Out here the field don't grow Out here the bell don't ring Out here the bell don't ring... 

Basically to make it short, but true here nothing makes sense... no matter what i do just does not work! its frustrating never happened to me before... but always a first time for anything no? Well its driving me crazy and its not making me any good... im tired of people asking me if everything is fine and feel convicted to answer yes it is its great... because its not! we all know when something is right or wrong and im sure... THIS IS JUST NOT RIGHT.... in every sense... its just disappointing when someone knows it is not... and still tries to hide it... but why... telling the truth makes much more sense doesn't it ? it just stops the whole circus and grounds everything in a way were questions and answer can are easily made... why keep it up... to make someone happy... not worth it... not worth the lie... the truth is... few have the guts to do it... yes to say the truth to cut it off... and i well haven't find mine ... so mean while im hoping this will help...